THE FAMILY RESOURCE GUIDE
What If My Toddler
Won't Cooperate?
Good.
Okay, maybe that's not the answer you were expecting. But I do not need your toddler to cooperate with me to photograph them.
They do not need to sit still.
They do not need to smile when asked.
They do not need to follow the plan.
They just need to be a toddler.
FIRST THINGS FIRST
Your toddler cannot
ruin your photo session.
I mean that.
They can refuse to participate. Hide behind your legs for twenty minutes. Suddenly become deeply committed to carrying one specific rock everywhere we go.
They can decide the creek is terrible, the bubbles are offensive, and the snack you packed specifically because it is their favorite is now unacceptable.
None of that means anything has gone wrong.
I'm not waiting for your child to become cooperative enough for me to start photographing.
I'm already photographing.
PLEASE DON'T PANIC
You don't need to
make them behave for me.
This might be the most important thing I can tell you before your session:
You do not need to spend the entire time managing your child for the camera.
You don't have to keep saying, “Look at her.” “Smile.” “Come back over here.” “Can you just do this one thing?” “Please cooperate.”
I know how tempting it is.
You paid for photographs. You want this to go well. Your toddler is currently sprinting in the opposite direction and you are watching every dollar leave with them.
But I promise:
I can work with the child who is actually standing in front of me.
You don't need to turn them into a different one.
WE CHANGE THE PLAN
The plan is never
more important than your kid.
Maybe we planned to make pancakes.
Your toddler would rather sit on the kitchen floor and pour Cheerios between two bowls.
Perfect.
Maybe we went to the creek and they have absolutely no interest in touching the water.
But there is a stick.
And apparently that stick is the greatest thing that has ever happened to them.
Maybe we planned bubbles and they want Dad to chase them instead.
Then Dad chases them.
The activity gives us somewhere to start. It was never a contract.
NEED AN ACTIVITY THEY'LL ACTUALLY LIKE?
Give them something to do.
Then let them take it somewhere else.
Pancakes, creeks, sprinklers, ice cream, playgrounds, watering flowers, backyard messes and ordinary little adventures all give toddlers something more interesting to think about than the camera.
FAMILY PHOTO IDEAS THAT AREN'T JUST STANDING IN A FIELDTHIS IS WHY WE DO SOMETHING
Toddlers usually don't
want to “take pictures.”
Honestly?
Neither would I.
“Stand here and smile at the stranger holding the giant black camera” is not particularly compelling when you are two.
But collecting rocks? Making cookies? Running through sprinklers? Feeding ducks? Digging in dirt? Getting ice cream? Showing me every stuffed animal you own?
Now we have something to work with.
Your toddler doesn't need to care about the photographs.
That's my job.
They just need something interesting enough to forget that photographs are happening.
WHAT I'M WATCHING FOR
Cooperation isn't
actually the goal.
I'm watching for something else.
The way they grab your finger when they get nervous.
The way you crouch down when they need reassurance.
The ridiculous face they make when Dad catches them.
The curls stuck to their forehead after running.
The way you instinctively scoop them onto your hip. The snack break. The muddy knees. The tiny hand wrapped around that extremely important rock.
Those aren't consolation-prize photographs because your toddler wouldn't cooperate.
Those are the photographs.
IF THEY NEED YOU
Let them need you.
If your toddler wants to be held, hold them.
If they bury their face in your chest, let them.
If they need five minutes on your lap before they're ready to explore, give them five minutes.
Please don't apologize to me.
Please don't put them down because you think I need photographs of them independently.
Their need for you is part of this season too.
One day, you are going to pick them up and neither of you will realize it was one of the last times.
I want to photograph that.
IF THERE'S A MELTDOWN
We don't pretend
that didn't happen either.
Toddlers have big feelings.
Sometimes those feelings arrive right in the middle of family photos.
We can take a break. Have a snack. Get some water. Change activities. Let them sit with you. Move somewhere quieter. Or just give them a minute to be upset.
I am never going to stand over a crying child waiting for them to smile so we can keep going.
The session bends around your family.
Your family does not have to bend around the session.
AND YES
I'll still try for the
everybody-together photo.
Because I know you want one.
And Grandma definitely wants one.
I will absolutely look for a moment to bring everyone together.
But I also know we're working with a toddler.
Maybe they sit in your arms. Maybe Dad puts them on his shoulders. Maybe everybody piles onto the bed. Maybe we let them hold the weird stick. Maybe we sing the song you've heard four thousand times this month.
I do not need five minutes of perfect cooperation.
Sometimes I need one second.
WHAT PARENTS USUALLY DON'T REALIZE
The part you think is chaos
can photograph beautifully.
You are experiencing the session from inside of it. I'm watching it from the outside.
You hear the whining.
You notice the dirt.
You know they ignored three things you asked them to do.
You're wondering whether I got anything.
I'm watching light, movement, hands, connection, layers and expressions that happen for half a second.
YOU ARE FEELING THE CHAOS.
I am looking for the story inside it.
AFTER YOUR SESSION
You might remember it
very differently than I photographed it.
You may leave thinking:
“Well. That was insane.”
Meanwhile, I go home with photographs of your toddler laughing on Dad's shoulders. Their hand tucked into yours. Their little body curled into your lap.
The three seconds everyone happened to be together. The face they made after tasting something sour. The way they ran. The way you chased them.
The way this entire tiny, exhausting, hilarious version of your family felt.
The goal was never to prove that your toddler could behave beautifully for ninety minutes.
The goal was to remember them at two.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO PRACTICE
Bring me your toddler.
The wild one. The shy one. The one who takes thirty minutes to warm up.
The one who will probably remove their shoes six minutes after we start. The one currently surviving primarily on berries and spite.
Bring snacks. Bring something they love doing. Bring whatever strange object they are emotionally attached to this week.
I'll meet them where they are.
BUILD YOUR STORY